


Pandora's Peeve

by AnonEhouse



Series: Tiny Tony 'verse [1]
Category: Iron Man (Comic), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Daddy Issues, Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-12
Updated: 2012-03-12
Packaged: 2017-11-01 20:10:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is four years old. Tony is bored. Tony is not scared, not, not, not. He can take care of himself just fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pandora's Peeve

**Author's Note:**

> In Iron Man 2 there are at least 3 instances when Tony didn't want to take anything handed to him.  
> When he bought the strawberries and when Pepper handed him a boxed birthday gift and:
> 
>  
> 
> _"He doesn't like to be handed things," Happy told the woman serving Tony a subpoena to appear before the Senate Armed Services Committee._
> 
>  
> 
> _"Yeah, I have a peeve," Tony said._
> 
> (There's another story arguably in the same universe [ Featherweights Can't Box](http://archiveofourown.org/works/361983))

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

****

Tony is bored. He's always bored. And no one ever pays any attention to him. Not ever! He made a circuit board, and it works, and no one cares. Dad was too busy to look at it. Mom said it was nice, but she had her 'thinking about other things' face on. He puts the circuit board on Dad's desk on top of his best drawing of a robot, all red and mostly gold, but he ran out of gold and had to use silver, too. He nods, and decides to go outside. Outside is boring, too, but he likes to sneak out through the gate and see how far he can get before someone notices he's gone. Mostly no one notices and he gets bored and comes back.

He wriggles out between the iron bars and looks around. There's an ice cream truck down at the end of the long drive, where the main road is. Tony feels in his pockets. He's got a screwdriver, two pieces of copper wire, half a red crayon, a Cracker Jack car, and three pennies. He's got lots of money in his piggy bank. Dad gives him a quarter whenever he tells him to go away and play somewhere else. But he doesn't want to go back in the house for it.

He doesn't need ice cream. Dad tells him he's a big boy and shouldn't cry just because he doesn't get everything he wants. He sits down on the edge of the road and puts his Cracker Jack car together. It would be better if it had a motor, but it's pretty, especially after he puts red stripes on it and rubs the pink plastic axles with crayon and uses the edge of a penny to adjust the balance so the wheels turn smoothly. He makes engine noises. "You're a nice little car. Can you go fast?" he asks it. He pushes it, and is pleased when it rolls down the slope, faster and faster.

Tony runs after the car, cheering it on. It gets all the way down the drive, with only a little help from Tony when it gets stuck. 

"Hey, kid, you want an ice cream?"

Tony looks up at the man in the white overalls with pictures of ice cream cones all over it. He shakes his head. "No." 

The man smiles. His smile is too big and too... Tony doesn't know what, but the man smiles the way people do when they talk to his father like they're his friends, but don't mean it. He knows because the same people say bad things about his dad when they don't notice Tony is listening to them. Tony is always watching people. People are interesting, even when they're confusing, and not paying attention to him, like they should.

"I'm going home," Tony announces, picking up his car. He's too far away for the man to grab. He knows this because he's tested it with all the maids and butlers and everyone else. He's faster and smarter and no one can catch him. Also, he knows how to climb trees. Little ones, anyway. 

"Well, if you don't want an ice cream, would you like to help me solve my puzzle box?" The man holds out a really, really beautiful little box, all polished pieces of different colored wood fitted together so Tony can just see where the seams are. "I can't get it open, so I can't get the present my friend put in it." He pushes at the top of the box and a strip of wood moves. Then he pushes at the side and another bit moves. Tony bites his bottom lip, hesitating. He doesn't like the man, but the puzzle... he really wants to solve the puzzle.

Tony nods and holds out his hands. The man smiles and tosses him the box. Tony catches it and the box bursts open. Everything smells funny, green and cold and his hands don't work and his knees are gone and he's lying on the road which is cold and has hard pebbles sticking into his back and it's wrong, wrong, this is all wrong, and he wants to cry even though he's a big boy and then the man is leaning over him smiling that not smile and hard, hard hands are picking him up and the beautiful box is in pieces and it's not Tony's fault, he didn't break it, he didn't do anything and then there's nothing.

***

Tony wakes up and looks around, seeing a stained cement floor and dirty, scuffed, and dented steel walls and a single dim light bulb dangling on a frayed cord from the gray ceiling. This isn't his room. This isn't even any of the places he likes to hide around the house. It's not even Dad's workshop where Tony's not allowed to go, so he has to sneak in. His head hurts and his throat is dry. He rubs at his eyes and sits up. This isn't even a bed he's lying on. It's a pile of cardboard, with a smelly green cloth on top. He pulls his knees up to his chin and wraps his arms around them. Dad is going to be so mad at him. He sniffles a little, just a little, because the smell makes his eyes itch.

He gets up and goes over to the only door. It's locked. He thinks a moment, and then he looks through the keyhole. Mr. Bad Smile is sitting in a broken chair. He has a gun, and he's still smiling. Tony shivers. Another man comes in.

"Hey, what's with the gun?" the second man says. "Stark's going to pay. He just needs time to get to the bank."

Bad Smile looks up. "The kid saw me."

"So? He's four, he can't identify you."

"He's a smart kid. I'm not taking the chance. Might need him a little longer, in case Stark asks to talk to him, but after that... no loose ends."

The second man shakes his head. "No. Not a kid."

"The penalty's the same for kidnapping as murder. You wanna die so that spoiled brat can go back to owning the world?"

Tony stops listening and looks around the room. They're going to hurt him. They hate him. Whenever anyone calls him a spoiled brat, they yell at him and make him feel bad. And he really doesn't like the gun. Once he sneaked in while mom and dad were watching old newsreels with Captain America and there were guns. They couldn't hurt Captain America because he had his shield, but Tony doesn't have a shield. He asked Dad to make him one, but Dad was too busy. He wishes Captain America was here. He'd take Tony home. He was a good guy, Dad says so. But there's no one here but Tony. There's never anyone but Tony. He's a big boy. He can take care of himself. He's not scared, not scared at all.

There aren't any windows. There are boxes and empty wooden crates, and pieces of metal and other trash. There is a power outlet near the door. Tony blinks and begins sifting through the rubbish. A broken desk lamp gives him a power cord. He takes the thin copper wire from his pocket and winds it around the metal doorknob. It takes a few minutes to electrify the doorknob. If Bad Smile touches it, he'll know that Tony doesn't like him. And then he'll really be mad. Tony has to get out of here. 

There's a metal grate up high in the wall. Tony knows about leverage and pivot points and friction coefficients, but it's still not easy to get stuff moved over and piled up so he can climb up to the grate. It's lucky it only has two screws still holding it in place because they're hard to get out. His hands hurt and his arms hurt and his stomach is all hurting too, but he's not sure why. It's not as if he's scared. He's not scared at all. He gets the grate out, but he can't hold it, and it drops to the floor. It sounds so loud. Bad Smile shouts and then... oh, the electric doorknob works! Tony grins as he pulls himself up into the opening beyond the grate. Bad Smile is saying a lot of things that would get Tony's mouth washed out with soap. The vent is so dirty it makes Tony cough, but he doesn't slow down as he crawls as fast as he can away from Bad Smile and his friend. They're both shouting now. It sounds like they've broken the door in. He crawls faster. His arms and knees are getting cut, and it hurts and it's dirty, and he is going to be in such trouble for ruining his trousers, but he can't help it.

And then there's so much noise, so sudden and so close that Tony wets his pants. There's holes! Holes in the vent coming up from below and the metal is all rough and scratching him and he's crawling and the noise and it's hot, and oh, guns, this is what guns are, guns are noise and breaking things and he wishes he had his own gun and he'd shoot, he'd shoot Bad Smile and he'd make him stop, make him leave Tony alone. And then there's more noise, more guns. Different guns, louder and faster and more shouts and more voices and it all smells, he knows the smell that's sometimes on Dad's coat and his hands when he's been working on making guns, and he used to like that smell because it was his dad, but now it's all around him and he can't. He can't. He curls up tight and is not. He's not here. He can't be hurt because it's not him, this isn't Tony in here, it's someone else. Someone who can't be hurt. A shiny red and gold robot, lying in this metal box, waiting for someone to take him out to play with him.

"Tony!" That's Dad shouting, Tony has never heard him so mad. Tony's in such big trouble now. He hugs himself hard. "Tony!"

"I'm not here!" Tony lifts his head long enough to yell. "It's not my fault!"

"Tony!" There's a lot more noise and then Dad's voice sounds funny, really funny. "Tony, are you all right? Can you come out?"

Tony turns around. Dad is looking in the open grate, reaching in. Tony is too far away, he's safe, he won't get caught, won't get yelled at. "No! Not coming out. No!" He backs away further into the grate, where it's dark and dirty but it's not his fault and it's not fair to yell at him when it wasn't his fault. 

"TONY! Come out this instant!"

Tony's pants are wet and Dad always hates it when he's dirty and gets Dad's nice suit dirty. And he can see Dad's got his favorite suit on and it's got grease and dirt and blood on it, and Tony is in such bad trouble, and all he wants is for everything to not be bad. He backs up even further. There are lots of vents, he could hide for a long, long time, until Dad gets busy and forgets he's mad and then Tony can come down, and go home and be in his own bed and it'll all be good. He curls up with his arms over his head and is the robot which can't hear anything because Tony didn't draw ears, and anyway, ears are stupid on robots and he wants his robot to have big guns and never ever have to be yelled at.

Tony is the robot for a long time, waiting for everything to be right again, and then he hears something moving in the vent. He looks up, ready to crawl away, but it's not his dad. It's only a boy. He's not scared of boys, even when they're bigger than him, like this boy is. He's not scared of his dad, either. He just doesn't want to be shouted at. 

"Hi! I'm Jimmy!" the boy says, grinning at him as he comes closer. "Hey, this is neat. We could make a clubhouse in here."

Tony wrinkles up his nose. "It's dirty."

"Yeah, but it's like a secret hideout!"

"I'm not hiding!" Tony's not scared. Not. Not. Not.

"Well, if you're not hiding, and you're not playing, then why don't you want to come out?"

"Because..." Tony's not really sure, right at the moment. "Why did you come in?"

"Your dad asked my dad if he could ask me to come in after you."

Tony frowns. "What?"

Jimmy sighs and tugs on Tony's arm. "My dad flies planes for your dad. My dad is the bravest man in the whole world. And I'm very brave, too. So I'm here to be a hero!"

"Huh." Tony thinks that sounds pretty good. "Can I be a hero?"

"You can't be a hero when I'm the hero. I have to get you out of here to be the hero. My dad says he'll give me a medal. Or maybe a chocolate bar."

Tony lays his head down on his arms. "If I can't be a hero, too, I'm not coming out."

Jimmy tugs on Tony's arm again. "All right, you can be a hero, too. Because you can be a hero for getting me out of here."

Tony's not sure that works, but then his head still hurts. "Will I get a medal?"

Jimmy nods. "Heroes always get medals."

Tony starts crawling towards Jimmy. "My dad is mad at me. He'll yell." Tony doesn't want Jimmy to be surprised.

"Oh, my dad yells at me all the time." Jimmy grins and throws an arm over Tony's shoulder to hug him. "We can have a 'My Dad Yells at Me' club!"

Tony smiles. "In a tree house! With a trap door and ropes to climb and a waterfall."

"You can't put a waterfall in a house, Tony!" Jimmy laughs and starts moving towards the opening in the vent.

"I bet I can!" Tony follows Jimmy.

Jimmy's father pulls him from the vent, and then Tony's dad grabs Tony and holds him tight, and he's... not shouting, and really, it's not so bad, after all.


End file.
